In honor of the two conflicting holidays
I’m twelve years old again.
Someone help me stop laughing, it hurts.
I JUST PICKED UP THE PHONE BECAUSE MY SCHOOL WAS CALLING AND IT’S ALWAYS A RECORDING BUT IT WAS MY VICE PRINCIPAL’S VOICE TALKING ABOUT HOW SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW AND I GRUNTED REALLY LOUD AND SCREAMED “NOOOOO” AND HE SAID “excuse me”
Another friend is pregnant
There is something in the water. I am only drinking tea for a while then
I have some alarming news for you in regard to one of the main ingredients in tea.
I’d happily watch an 8 hour film adaptation of a book if it meant every little book detail was put in it
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
This week on Tumblr:
It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.